Saturday, January 8, 2011

Do you smell bacon?

I love overweight policemen. I find it hilarious that a police officer CAN be overweight. What happens when a cop sees a crime take place and is forced to pursue the perp? They sure as hell aren’t going to catch them.

Of the time cops are on duty, I wonder what percent of that time is spent eating. The donut jokes must come from somewhere… (My favorite being: “Do you know why I pulled you over?” Response: “Cause you think I have donuts in here.”)

My particular fondness for fat cops was sent to an all time high last night on my drive home from Oklahoma City. I had just gotten my hair done and it took a lot longer than I had imagined, so I was running a bit late. I decided to stop to pick up dinner for my family at PF Changs and then high-tail it back home.

I was making excellent time. I was within 20ish minutes of Enid City Limits when I hear an EHHHHH EHHHH EHHHHH EHHHHHH…. My fuzz buster was going off. I slam on my brakes then I see flashing lights in the opposite lane. The cop had passed me and I just knew he was going to turn around and pull me over. I had been going at least 20+ over the speed limit. Then the most amazing thing happened. Something I’ve never seen take place in the almost 8 years I’ve been driving…. He turned his lights back off and kept going. WHAAAA?????

I was curious… What would drive this police officer to be so kind as to not write me a $300 speeding ticket? My family are regulars on 74… we are also regular speeders… I’m sure the entire highway patrol is familiar with our last name.
But then I looked down, saw the time and realized it was like 6:30pm… The answer was staring me blank in the fact…. That Po was going home for dinner!

He must’ve been fat.

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