As ashamed as I am to admit this, I have been watching this season of the Bachelor. What began as intrigue has quickly escalated to something else, entirely.
I started watching because I thought it was pretty funny they were bringing back the Bachelor who turned down both girls. A part of me wonders who and the hell he thinks he is and another part of me is like, good for him. The song says “if you like it than you shoulda put a ring on it.” Not, “if you are on national tv and you just like me ok than put a ring on it.”
After the first couple episodes, I began finding it hilarious. The girls are crying over a guy that they’ve probably only had one-on-one interaction for a total of 30 minutes. But now we are on episode four. We’ve had like 6 girls with one-on-one dates, so that means 14 hours of one-one-one time. More minutes, more hours, it totally ups the ante.
Now I’m watching the show because I want to continue seeing these girls make fools of themselves. DO THEY NOT REALIZE THIS SHOW IS NATIONALLY TELEVISED? We see how you are reacting. I had no idea girls cry so much, or have so many emotions and that is coming from someone that can cry over just about anything.
Dear Ashley H…. good luck having clients come get their cavity filled after seeing your behavior. Had I not known any better, I’d thought you were in high school.
Dear girls constantly crying to him (that includes Ashley H.)… I’m willing to be he gets annoyed. If you keep crying, he’s probably gonna kick your ass to the curb. I mean shit, I would.
Dear Michelle,… you are a crazy bitch. It’s a good thing for you that the Bachelor’s primary audience is women… if it were men, you’d have no chance in hell with anyone ever again. (Note to Brad, if you pick her, I will lose all faith in men. Check that, I will think you are dumb ass for eternity.)
And as for the writers/producers of the show… did you have the girls fill out a form that asked their biggest fear? Because I find it ironic that every one-on-one date has consisted of whichever girl is on that date’s biggest fear. Singing, deep water, heights? Good call. But now it’s getting predictable, please stop.
AS FOR TAKING THE GIRL WHOSE HUSBAND WAS A RACE CAR DRIVER AND DIED TO THE RACE TRACK FOR A DATE... RUDE.
For those of you who don’t watch this show, please ignore my rant.
Someday I hope to be on the Bachelor. And as “Prince Charming” drops to one knee to propose on the season finale, I will turn to the camera and yell, “HELL YEA!!! I WIN LINDA! YOU OWE ME $10.”
P.S. I plan on nominating a friend of mine to be the next Bachelor. In return, he promises to get every girl pregnant on the show… now think how awesome that “After the Final Rose” ceremony would be? How about them ratings?
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